Monday, March 10, 2008

Tales of Roguedom: A Paladin's Peril

"I'm so nervous, I'm so tense, my heart can't forget about this self defense. The air is so hot and my breath comes fast, I thumb the cool blade but I know this can't last..."

-Excerpts from Shadow Stabbing by Cake

Ah, I do enjoy thumbing a cool blade right before a good fight...or ambush....or cheapshot...Feels good, calms me down, keeps me loose and limber. Also: That's one of the greatest song names ever, especially considering it describes what I do so perfectly. Now onto the Tale.

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So I was sitting on a dock in Stormwind, polishing my new equipment and admiring the sunset, when along comes this female paladin in her 30s and decked out in her nice shiny (and loud) chain armor with one of those big two handed swords strapped to her back. Naturally I think to myself that she must be a retribution pally because no self respecting protection or holy pally would go anywhere without a proper shield. On that note I decided to check out her talent tree while keeping her from moving on with minor chit-chat and non-sensical randomosities. Lo and behold she's fully holy spec'd! Now even I know that any spec of pally aside from Retribution should be using a one handed weapon and a shield, it just makes far more sense that way, so I ask her what the deal was. She goes on a tangent totally avoiding the topic and dragging me into much more mundane and pointless conversation...something involving murlocs or other random crap, I dunno, it was stupid we'll leave it at that.

"Obviously I want to figure this situation out but the direct approach didn't work, time for some subtlety, I'm good at that, it's kind of my thing" I thought to myself. "Definitely shouldn't just blurt it out, that lacks tact and she'll probably see it as offensive....gotta weave my way around the words to make sure she gets the point while keeping her on my good side. This isn't gonna be easy, paladins have high intellect so they can easily figure stuff like this out....this isn't gonna be easy...."

Then it came to me: Just freaking Vanish and whisper to her from the shadows once I've figured it out, there's no way she'll be able to find me, she's no hunter. So that's exactly what I did, Vanish, she kinda gawked and looked stupidly over the water obviously wondering where I had gone. I slip out down a nearby alley and find a nice dark spot in a local inn to clear my thoughts and figure out what to say. Being a rogue, my intellect isn't very high at all so speaking to people isn't really my strong suit. After a good half hour I had finally figure out something to tell her...but she was gone, nowhere to be found...great, all that time wasted while I could have been out killing stuff...way to go me. I paid the innkeeper what I owed her and was on my way to go maim monsters, the thoughts of that paladin leaving me with every step I took. Pfft, paladins like that are overrated anyway, they ought to know what they need in the way of equipment even if they happen to be noobs, it's not that hard to figure out after all.

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Until next time....
/Vanish

Bleed Black,
Dramthar

1 comment:

MarcusMaximi said...

Excellent story.

*cough* *ahem* Err I levelled 0-70 as holy and at some point pre-60, probably in my late-40s early-50s I got a world drop of Destiny while questing with TiceNits. I begged her to let me have it. She did. It was eventually replaced with The Unstoppable Force. *cough* *ahem* (Still specced holy).

/facepalm

Now, when standing in front of Lady Vashj I have a choice. Shard of the Virtuous/Tryptch Shield of the Ancients or Hammer of the Naaru.

Healing? Who needs a shield for that? Get out the big 2-hander!

Seriously, I WAS that noob pally and now I can top the healing meters in TK and SSC